Well what better time to have a sort of mid-life crisis than on your 28th Birthday? For some reason I can’t sleep, my stomach is going around in circles, I feel like crying my eyes out, and the only thing that brought peace to my soul was thinking about making a post on my blog. I’m not completely sure what a mid-life crisis is, but I’m guessing what I’m experiencing comes pretty close.

As I sat in bed wondering why I was so upset I realized that as I look back on my life – this really isn’t the life I had planned. When I was growing up I had planned a life of doing everything that brought pleasure through worldy things, however in my mind doing these things had NO consequences.

I realized soon enough that my actions did have consequences. That’s when my life changed forever. Did I plan this life? No. But I will say that my life is so much better than I had planned. I couldn’t ask for a better husband, or more wonderful children. Sure sometimes my life seems overwhleming. When I was growing up I had so many plans to be successful, make lots of money, and be known by everyone in the world. Honestly – and I say this with the utmost humility – I’m one of those people who truly believes that if we work hard enough at anything we will be successful – I knew deep down in my heart I could make anything I dreamed happen.

But God had another plan for me. I honestly feel that a lot of the obstacles placed in my path were put there for a reason. Amazingly I feel like God has been guiding my life before I was even born. I think God knows too that I could be successful at whatever I put my mind to, that’s why He gave me the life He did so that I can be successful at what He wants me to do.

When my oldest daughter was little I found it so difficult to accept the life I had been given. I wanted so much more for my daughter and for myself. I lived with a lot of guilt. The life we had was my fault. This guilt I think has definitely carried over into the past several years. My husband and I have worked hard for many years.

I feel like God has placed this call on my life that is so not like me. It doesn’t fit the personality of me too well! But here I am. This may not be the life I had planned, but I certainly feel it is the life God has planned for me. It may not be filled with big fancy houses, or nice cars, lots of money, or working with lots and lots of people. But it is filled with a lot of one on one time with the four people I love the most here on this earth! I feel like if I’m really going to make a difference it has to start with my kids, and my marriage. It needs to start in my home. The biggest influence I will ever have will be over my kids.

I pray to be able to let go of the life I had dreamed of in order for me to embrace and accept the life God has given me. I am so grateful. I am overwhelmed at times by all of my responsibilities, but I am grateful. I may feel like the biggest failure there ever was, but I am grateful. I may get off track or lose focus, but I am still grateful. I never feel like my life is unimportant, my kids are oh so very important! I may get overwhelmed at everything I have to accomplish in a day, but I am grateful.

I really just need to learn to take it one day at a time. Be grateful, and embrace what life God has planned out for me even if it isn’t the life I had planned…this life is oh so much better!

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Weird title I know. But what’s even more weird – having dreams over and over again about vegetables and vegetable gardens.

Now these dreams didn’t include just ANY vegetable or vegetable garden. No, they included the most beautiful and perfect vegetables. It included a vegetable garden that was more beautiful than any home you would ever find, even a big huge mansion.

I believe God speaks to me through my dreams. He’s done so several times, it’s an daily occurrence actually. I don’t believe there is anything wrong with this. I don’t go looking for the dreams – they just come to me. In the Bible there have been stories of God speaking to His people through dreams. I count it as a great blessing, and sometimes I feel comforted by the dreams, and other times my dreams scare me and move me to prayer.

Recently I had TWO dreams that really stuck out to me. Without going into too much detail I will say they were about vegetables. The first dream consisted of baskets & baskets of the most perfect looking vegetables you had ever seen. I mean they were so beautiful even if you didn’t like vegetables you would still eat them, lol. When I woke up all I could think about was the vegetables and how perfect they were. All the other events that were happening in my dream didn’t really effect me, but those vegetables did.

Then in my next dream I was walking through a corn field and came to the most beautiful vegetable garden you had ever seen. it was a big garden, but I could only see a little bit. This garden had no weeds, was in perfect squares, and the colors were so vibrant. There was someone tending to the garden, although I couldn’t really “see” Him though because I was very intrigued by the garden. Then I turned around and saw this big huge mansion. But surprisingly, I was more interested in the garden.

After the second dream I finally thought to myself “Maybe God is trying to tell me something.” – but what?

My conclusion – a harvest.

After I came to that conclusion I have to say it moved me. I can’t really even explain what these dreams meant to me after I knew the meaning. It’s what I needed to hear in order to motivate me to continue…to move. God is good. I will continue to pray for a great harvest. Thank you Lord for the motivation and inspiration to keep on moving!

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