So I never really thought that my 11 year old would be begin her journey to become her own person so soon. But out of total desperation for some answers on why it feels like every single bit of parenting technique I have tried with her doesn’t work, and why she seems to become more and more disrespectful each and every day and why she STILL lies after being grounded all. the. time. I learned that the teen years is all about trying to become your own person and disconnecting yourself from your parents.
Honestly when I read this I felt a bit of relief because it kind of meant I’m not this horrible mother who has no idea what she is doing! I’m NOT A FAILURE – w00t! Not to mention I had been feeling this urge to let go of her more and more, and just let her learn from her mistakes and let God do HIS work in her life.
With this I have been praying and crying a whole lot more. So often I forget that this time is precious and that I am raising adults. Our kids aren’t designed to be our children forever, and honestly I want my baby girl to grow up. That’s one thing that has been on my mind, she needs to grow up. Maybe I’ve sheltered her too much, but I only do this because I SO DESPERATELY want to protect her. But I can see now how God can work through and help to grow us through some of the hardest times in our life. I will be the first one to admit, my oldest (or any of my children) haven’t really had to endure too much adversity.
I mean sure there life isn’t perfect, but I know so many other children (not to mention my childhood) have a life that is FILLED with adversity. I’m not saying that a life FILLED with adversity is the answer, but I will say that some stress DOES help to develop our immature minds.
This mom thing is tough stuff. And really it just seems to be getting harder and harder, and yet I feel more peace. I am learning to just let go and let God when it comes to my children.
With the teen years just around the corner (she will be 12 years old in just a few short weeks and she has ALWAYS been one to develop ahead of schedule!) I’m feeling a bit frustrated and insecure in what life has in store. I also have a few regrets. I regret not taking this parenting thing so seriously when she was younger. Oh how many opportunities I have missed out on developing a relationship with her. But I didn’t know better back then, and of course my two younger ones will reap the benefits of me learning from my mistakes.
But my heart aches for my “baby girl.” I just want her to know that I love her, and I want her to feel like she can talk to me.
Why is it that as parents we work so HARD at being the mom or dad who has it all together. We vow to do everything we wish our parents had done for us, and yet we still haven’t got it all together. We still fail? How can that be?
As my Baby Girls birthday approaches I can feel this sense of moving into a new chapter in the parenting book. During all of this it just pushes me to continue on being a mom who is always learning. I want my kids to know that I love them, but most of all, what burdens my heart the most is I want them to KNOW JESUS.
I want them to have a heart that is FOR Him and a life that is meant to glorify HIM. That is the greatest burden on my heart, and with 3 kids, that burden can become overwhelming at times. Simply because there really is no formula on what I can do to help guide them in that direction because it’s not completely up to me. It’s up to God. All I can do is PRAY, continue in growing MY relationship with the Lord, and let God move in their little heart’s. That’s really all I can do…
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