I’ll admit, there are times in my life where I wish I could go back to not having a burden on my shoulder’s. About 5 years ago God started in on my heart. Ministry…that’s what He was doing to my heart.
But sometimes I wish I could wake up and not have a burden on my heart anymore. Sometimes I wish I could just be apart of a moms group where all we talk about is the latest trends, and that it would be satisfying. But it never has been satisfying, and I’m sure it never will be.
I’m sorry but cleaning house is boring to me. I love my kids, but play dates give me the creeps (I mean do you even realize how many germs are on those toys!)
I’ve just kind of taken the path of weirdness to some, a path that a lot of people have no desire to take. I homeschool my kid’s, we don’t do the tooth fairy, Santa Clause, or Halloween. We don’t have cable, and I don’t feel the overwhelming urge to buy the latest gadget around like the Wii or an Apple ipad. I don’t gossip, and even with that I have very few friends simply because TRUE friendship takes TIME and energy, and I put so much time and energy into building up my relationship with my husband, children, and family.
But there are times when I wish for normal. I would love to be able to walk around the mall spending all my money without having to think about how messed up this world is and how so many people are suffering. Sometimes I wish I could just enjoy my blessings and not worry about anybody else.
I use to have the normal life. Shallow friendships, a hurting marriage, went to the mall every week, cleaned my house everyday, play dates, meaningless conversations at mom’s night out with women I hardly even knew. My relationships were conditional.
At least I’m not alone and now I have Jesus on my side. Being a follower of Jesus to me means having a heart that’s burdened. Sometimes my burdened heart can lead me astray because I want to help everyone, but that’s not my job. My burdened heart can make me feel like what I’m doing isn’t enough, so I try to do more all the while losing my focus and drifting away from God’s purpose for my life.
It’s difficult. When you enter into this world with Jesus you see things differently and you can certainly be tempted to go back to normal. But I think the one thing we all need to remember is to have a little bit of fun.
For me that’s going on a date with my husband, or family night, oh how I love family night. You see what’s awesome about being weird, building up your relationships can also be fun. I get so much joy out of the positive moments with my husband, my kids, and my family. Sunday dinner at my mom’s house means more to me than a million rich influential friends.
Being weird isn’t always easy, and normal is always waiting around the corner trying to call me back over. But I was never happy being normal, my life is all about being weird, it’s about making every single moment matter. My time is so precious to me now. Being a follower of Jesus and having a heart that is burdened your time becomes more valuable and you start to live your life with more purpose.
When normal starts calling my name, really what it wants for me to do is get distracted, waste my time, and bring me to a place that I never want to be again…we aren’t normal and that’s OK with me.
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