You know, no wonder why there is so much conflict within the body of Christ. There is truly so much jealousy, not enough unity.

When we take on the control of our life we panic. There is so much room for jealousy, worry, anger, bitterness, resentment. I wonder if pastor’s get angry or jealous when another brother or sister in Christ plants a new church?

I will have to say, if this is the truth then the pastor who is jealous really isn’t concerned about the ultimate goal here, to share Christ with the world, they are really just worried about their self and their mission…

My eyes have been opened lately to the truth, and the truth is the body of Christ humility is lacking (I’m not excluded from this statement.) Pride is rampant within the body of Christ! I am now seeing what’s keeping us from Him, it’s our pride not our brokenness. If we can’t move past the pride then I feel we will never be able to reach the world for Christ.

This bothers me tremendously.

Brothers and sisters, pride is still a problem for us and if we can’t take down these walls then our light for Christ will never shine as bright as it could…

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Not too long ago I wrote about how sometimes “normal” tries to lure me back. But when I wrote the post I didn’t even know that my husband was having a bit of the same feelings. He recently told me he was getting tired of feeling like an outcast.

But you know our feeling like an outcast is really based on the lifestyle we have chosen, and I have to admit a lot of the times I question whether or not this lifestyle is really the best lifestyle. But in all reality, we try to live our life the best way we know how in order to honor God. He has blessed us with so much, and we feel the desire to give back as much as we can.

God really does take care of us. This whole discontent with feeling like an outcast is really getting to me, because that’s exactly what it is, discontent. And it’s beginning to affect everyone in this house.

It’s hard to live a life where you are trying to honor God with your money, or commit to training up your children according to God’s word. There are so many times when I just want to walk into Target and buy everything to my heart’s desire. Everyday I wonder if homeschooling is really what’s right for our family, and for our kids. I dream of putting them on the school bus so that I can get 6 hours of peace every single day.

But I don’t believe that’s what God has called our family to do. So right now I am just praying through the discontentment. I am trying to be there for my husband, because frankly, I know how he feels. It can be overwhelming at times, and I need to do what he has done for me in the past…and that is make me realize at how blessed my life truly is and just keep moving forward with what God has called us to do.

It’s not easy, and we are surrounded by a world that doesn’t quite see things the way we see things. Sometimes I think we put the pressure on ourselves, but you now I’ve seen God come through for us so many times that it’s hard to turn away from it.

I firmly believe in the promises of scripture for those who fear the Lord. I want to live my life honoring God because I respect Him for Who He is, and that includes being obedient to the call He has placed on our family, and that includes whether or not it’s in line with how the rest of the world lives their life….even when we feel like an outcast…

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