I have to confess, I am a notebook junkie. If you ever run into me at my favorite store in the world (Target) you will probably find me going up and down the stationary aisle looking for the cutest notebook, or I may just be looking for a great deal on another notebook to add to my collection of…you guessed it notebooks!

For as long as I can remember I have been obsessed with how a pen feels against the paper as I write. I remember looking for a reason to write. I would write notes to my friends in school, or letters to relatives who lived far away. Or I would find a to do list to write out, and I would rewrite it until it was perfect.

I am careful about the kind of paper I buy, and I do have a favorite pen which I feel a bit giddy inside whenever I purchase a new package.

Even though I still love writing out my to do list countless times until it looks nice on the paper (no mistakes, and is has to be organized.) I have found my writing has become a lot more meaningful.

About four years ago my time with my pen and paper became my special moment with God. Thoughts would flow through my mind and onto my paper. It was how I processed what I was learning in the Bible, and I was learning a lot considering I was a fairly new follower.

Recently my desire, or urge, to do this type of learning or writing has come back. I look forward to the time I have with my pen, paper, and my Bible. It feels good to just have those moments where it’s just me, God, and my two friends (pen and paper.)

I don’t know, I think back to my past and think about how I have always had this built in passion for writing and for actually making a life of purpose. It just makes me think how God has always been at work in my life and He has always had a plan for me.

If you don’t believe in God, please just know this…in your heart I know you can feel a sense of purpose, like your life is meant for something bigger. Well guess what, it is. And the One who gave you this life, and your purpose is there with you even if you don’t believe in Him.

Like my 5 year old tells me: “God believes in you.”

You may not believe in God, but He does believe in you and He wants you to believe in Him. Finding your purpose in Christ will be the only purpose that fulfills that longing in you heart, and it will turn your healthy obsessions into something purposeful!

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So many changes are happening in our life right now. Honestly they are all good changes, and all of them show us that God is truly the one who provides for us and is in control of our life.

However for some reason I can see the open doors but I’m not motivated to walk through them. It’s like God is literally showing us the way to go, and yet I am not willing to go there. I can see Him waiting for me and all I can do is look at Him and say “I’m scared.” or “I don’t FEEL like it.”

Can you imagine saying these things to GOD?

I honestly feel like such an idiot. How can I do this. I know that God understands though. He has to understand. Some of the things He wants us to do IS scary, and exhausting, not to mention stressful.

They require some sacrifice too, which I have been struggling with. I’m beginning to realize that this life isn’t just about my enjoyment, and in order to follow God and His will for my life it requires a great deal of sacrifice on my part. It’s called taking up your cross.

You know I often complain that there are too many “no’s” in the Christian faith and I DO struggle with this, but you know when I sit back and think about Jesus and the sacrifice He made for ME and YOU I just simply sit back and shut my mouth.

I don’t think God is trying to throw anything in my face, and I don’t feel like He is annoyed with me. Honestly I see a God who is a bit discouraged. Of course He can see all the beauty that will come from our sacrifice, and I can see it a bit too, however oddly enough that doesn’t motivate me.

What motivates me?

The desire to obey the Lord. I know what life holds when we are disobedient to God and His word. I know what my life was before I knew the Lord. All the blessings in the world will never motivate me more than the sheer desire to serve Him, and the fear I have in the Lord.

Yes, I do fear the Lord and I don’t think that is a bad thing. He is GOD. He can, and one day will, destroy this world for HIS glory and to further HIS kingdom. We can deny this all we want. But GOD is GOD, and I do fear Him. But I also know out of my fear comes obedience, and God offers MANY promises to those who fear Him – in other words those who RESPECT Him and OBEY His word.

I’m not motivated by shiny things, because the shiny things will one day go away. But I am motivated by my fear in the Lord. I respect Him and want to show my respect by obeying His word and moving forward, with His guidance, to the place He wants me to be.

What motivates you?

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