I am so not even close to being fake. I have nothing to hide.

Yes, some of my political/moral views may isolate you because you don’t agree, but I can say the same thing about you. For so long I have been driven to be silent in order to stay neutral in the business world, but what I have seen in the past week is an incredibly overwhelming response to standing up for what I believe in. I have had more people contact me this week than I did in October. :/

Kind of strange how it worked out. I really feel for these people on line, and it makes me think whether or not I should continue my membership to a business network I belong to. I want to support others who will in turn use their money to further the kingdom of God. However I have really tried to move past the ” You don’t believe in what I believe in so I’m not going to do business with you.”, because I feel that as a Christian it is my responsibility to share the gospel and the only way I can do that is through interacting with these people.

It really bothers me too. It stresses me out, and if sharing my views and thoughts and NOT playing by the on line business rules gets my on line business shut down then so be it. It’s been really overwhelming anyways! I will move on to the next best thing and take it as God opening and closing doors. I’m not worried. I feel there are bigger issues facing me in the coming days as a Christian, and pleasing others and watching what I say in order to not step on any toes in order to grew my business is not one of them.

Amazing these people think they control the flow of business, apparently someone needs to step off their pedestal and realize their is something out there greater than them.

I wonder if they don’t like what I have to say, or if they never plan to do business with me then why do they still network and talk with me. Really not sure about that one. Why flood your twitter page or Facebook page with my tweets and status updates if you do not care about me or my business?? If moving on is what you want to do then please do so. Stop keeping yourself in limbo. It’s kind of weird to follow someone you don’t like, if you ask me.

As much as my heart goes out to them, because obviously my words offended them, and for that I am sorry, I still see SO MANY more good things happening because of it. It’s hard for me to know if what I did was right. I see fruit. But I also see people in more pain.

I don’t really think the pain comes from my words. I think the real pain is buried deep inside, whether it be from choices or mistakes they have made, or by the sin of other people who have hurt them, the pain is there and it is real. But I do not think the pain is coming from my words directly. They are just making old hurts resurface, and my heart does go out to them. My heart does hurt for them.

You know the other week a little boy said “look mommy that lady has a big tummy.” Did that hurt, of course. But the pain still didn’t take away from the fact that it wasn’t true. I also didn’t blame that little boy for stating a fact, because my belly is big because of my choices. As painful as it may be, it was still the truth and it’s still my fault.

On the flip side I still have the ability to change whatever is hurting me, I am not stuck in this situation. I wish that all people could see that. I really do. But I have to be compassionate toward them. I have to try and understand their hearts, but I do not think I will stop speaking the truth ever again.

I think the moment we stop speaking truth we are just selling ourselves out. Not speaking the truth isn’t what’s best for them, it just enables them to stay right where they are. I wish my parents said NO to a cookie or two when i was growing up. Maybe if my husband wasn’t the sweetest man in the world and maybe if he actually CARED about my weight then maybe I would have changed earlier, but I would have probably changed for the wrong reasons.

Not really sure where this post is going. But my faith will not be something that is hidden. I will not be afraid to share because someone might never do business with me again. God is my provider and I feel so blessed that I have been able to move past that fear of having to please everyone around me in order to move ahead.

I am the daughter of THE King…..I am not a prisoner anymore.

Ironically these people call me judgmental, hypocrite, and today I think - no I’m pretty sure someone referred to me as a troll. Seriously, these are the people voting for our next president, calling other people trolls. I do know that it goes both ways and there are wackos on both sides. But seriously?

All I am guilty of is sharing my opinion. I never judged anyone. Call me a troll all you want, but God still loves you and I do too. I feel so sorry for these people, I really do. Praying for them.

But today I went to Weight Watchers and I had lost 0.4 pounds, yay, and tomorrow I am working out first thing in the morning. I even bought some new music for my ipod to help get me motivated, and it worked! I can’t wait to jam and burn some mega calories tomorrow, I am looking forward to it. I may even dream about my workout tonight. LOL!

I also have anew favorite cardio machine and every time I push myself to the next level I almost burst into tears because I am so proud of myself. I get tired but I keep going. This weight loss journey isn’t going to just change my outward appearance but it is changing me on the inside, it is building my character and I think that’s what God wants most. He is using this situation to help make me stronger and more disciplined.

My new saying - never give up. I think about what it would mean to give up in every area of my life and then I think giving up shouldn’t even be an option. I don’t think I have ever felt so motivated to lose this weight in my entire life. Every time I go back and do what I need to do I am getting back up.

Feels really good. Now time for me to go to bed because tomorrow I have a booty to work off! LOL!

Today we learned a lot. They talked about STD’s - and seriously the stats are staggering. I walk away from each training with my heart so heavy because most people just don’t get it. We talked A LOT about abstinence and counseling our clients to remain abstinent. One of th ladies made a point that even using condoms during sex is not safe because they fail.

Did you know that as the use of condoms goes up the rate of STD’s is even higher than when people weren’t using condoms because back then they were more than likely practicing abstinence? Amazing. People think they are protecting them self from STD’s when they use a condom when in fact they are NOT. Sure the box may say 97% effective, but we have to remember women aren’t 100% of the time fertile. So this 97% effective business ain’t nothing and doesn’t mean you are 97% protected from contracting an STD.

Another thing to think about. Most schools think we should be talking about contraceptives because “kids are going to have sex anyways” but our speaker made a good point - kids ARE NOT using contraceptives, and I agree. Nobody in my circle of friends growing up used contraceptives, no one, and if they did it was NOT on a regular basis. Kids are not protecting them self. The only way we can stop this is to teach abstinence, period.

My brain goes crazy with all this information I am learning. There is so much pain in this world. Going through this training has actually made some of my own hurts and pains resurface, and it sucks! It’s like do I really have to DEAL with this, lol!

Anyways - on another note. Today we went to a pumpkin festival and we took the kiddos, and my oldest daughter took her friend. Well they were in the back seat of the van and were like “this is so weird having someone sit back here with me” and my oldest daughter was like “yeah..it’s just so..so..akward.” LOL! Awkward? She is like so…so…smart and grown up it makes me want to CRY! I love her so much.

Another funny moment was when they were going through there bag of food we were donating to get a free pumpkin, and my daughter was like “yeah we got organic peas, organic green beans, organic pinto beans…” and on and on, it was funny because what was in her bag reflected our pantry. Plus she had to say “organic” which was kind of silly. I guess you had to be there, it was funny…

Here’s a little bit about my husband - whom I love so much!

1. He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?

Football, Heroes, The Office, Seinfeld, Friends, and all that good stuff.

2. You’re out to eat what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?

Ranch and French and lots of it to cover up the vegetables.

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?

Anything that starts with a “V” as in “vegetables”. He really hates cauliflower, and I think that is weird because that’s my favorite veggy.

4. You go out to the bar, what does he order?

We don’t typically go to the bar, but I am guessing he would order flavored iced tea, lol!

5. Where did he go to high school?

Are you kidding me…I will not tell you where but I will say it was the rival school to where I went to High School.

6. What size shoe does he wear?

10 or 11, depends on the shoe.

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?

He would definitely have a DVD collection.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?

Hamburger.

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?

I don’t think there is anything out there that he would eat every day. He has his spurts though but gets tired of a food pretty easily.

10. What is his favorite cereal?

I really don’t know. Oatmeal?

11. What would he never wear?

A pink shirt - or a “pink” anything for that matter.

12. What is his favorite sports team?

He loves football and the Indianapolis Colts would be his favorite. He also like the *cough* Patriots *cough* but we don’t talk about THAT team in THIS house.

13. Who will he vote for?

Not sure, I think he is still undecided. We don’t talk politics that much, our goal is to stay married, LOL!

14. Who is his best friend?

Moi.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?

Umm…I don’t know he thinks I am pretty perfect, LOL! Just kidding, I am sure it is something like not worry so much or be disrespectful.

16. How many states has he lived in?

He’s only lived in one, and I’m not telling where…

17. What is his heritage?

African American

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?

Does buying a cake from the store count as baking? If so I would buy him a carrot cake because it’s his favorite.

19. Did he play sports in high school?

Yes, he played football, wrestling, and track and field.

20. What could he spend hours doing?

Hanging out with his wifey. He always says his dream job is to get paid to spend time with me, awh…

Something I learned in marriage counseling is that we need to be “intentional” when interacting with our husbands, especially now when the kids are so little, and the time we spend together is limited.  I just feel this blog was taking away from opening up and communicating with my husband more.

So my promise to myself…what i post on this blog (and even on twitter) will be said to my husband first, no matter how random or out of the blue it may be.  I will do this in an email, on the phone, or in person - it will just depend on where he is and where I am.  This will actually help me to be a better wife and also share my life with the 5 people who read this blog on a regular basis. 

SO there you go, that’s my promise to myself and I intend to keep it.  Once I stray away from this I will also stop blogging.  So if you don’t hear from me in a while at least you will know why…

I recently joined Weight Watchers and I have been trying to set mini goals for myself.  So this week my goal is to vacuum the entire house everyday for the next 7 days to kind of see what adding that little bit of exercise into my daily routine does, and if it is beneficial I will keep doing that.

I have actually been doing this since Saturday and I can already FEEL the difference it has made in body, and I can SEE the difference it makes to my carpet!  So I guess the benefits will be two fold, yay!

So here’s to a clean house and a healthy body weight!