Do you ever have those moments when you just avoid God? When I’m avoiding God I make up excuses not to read His word, or to type up devotionals I have sitting in my notebook (like I’m doing right now!)
Lately I have been working more on furthering my ministry online which includes being in the Word daily and posting Bible Studies. For some reason I have been making up excuses, or just blatantly ignoring this task. It’s as if I have been avoiding God.
This has me asking, why? Why am I avoiding God? First I go to my life and see if I am harboring any sin, and I don’t think I am, at least none that I know of. Except for maybe the lack of patience and the anger that I deal with on a daily basis. But these two things are nothing new! I deal with them everyday, and God knows that – He helps me deal with my impatience and anger.
So what else could it be?
Well I really think it could be one of two things, or possible even both.
1.) I have been feeling overwhelmed with life. Everything in my life seems to be “breaking” – literally.
My heart – broken.
My dreams – broken.
My water heater – broken.
My Lawn Mower – broken.
My couch and love seat – broken.
My 4 year old’s right arm – broken.
The lamp in my living room – broken.
My chairs for my too small of a table for our family – breaking (literally on it’s last leg – pun intended!)
What is God trying to tell me, I have no idea. But it certainly is overwhelming. I’m tired of things breaking! If God wants ME to be broken, then I’m really not sure what needs to be broken?
2.) I’m scared. I’m scared that what I say or how I think and feel isn’t good enough. Even though when I DO sit down to spend time with the Lord I feel His spirit come right alongside me. I just start writing, and the thoughts just start flowing. I truly believe this is what God wants me to do, but I am just so scared. I don’t want to say the wrong thing, or mislead anyone. I’m afraid I will make a mistake, so I feel like if I hide behind a wall then I won’t make any mistakes.
I DO trust God. So that’s why I don’t think this is the ONLY reason why I am avoiding Him. Whenever I do go to Him He is always there.
I dislike avoiding God. It puts an uneasiness within me that is difficult to explain. Maybe God is trying to tell me something – something I don’t want to hear so I’m just ignoring Him.
I thought I had done what He has wanted me to do, but now I’m not so sure. IF I am the one He’s trying to break then I guess I better try and listen to as to what it is He wants me to break from my life, because I honestly have no idea what that is. But my guess is that’s what God is trying to show me.
There is something in my life that’s not quite right. It’s keeping me from God’s purpose for my life. I need to listen to Him even if it’s going to hurt a little.
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Oh my gosh…I am right here right now. I have been avoiding God for two days because I am angry. I have been praying about my finances and they do not get any better. My car could be repoed at any time. I have 80 bucks until the first of the month. I am just exhausted of talking to Him about it because He doesn’t seem to want to help. So I have been watching One Tree Hill of all things online. Stayed up til 5 a.m. concerned with the world of make beleive so I can escape my own world.
Dear broken,
I’ve been going through the same experiences. My life around me is falling apart. I’ve been noticing things a little differently though. I think that you are not avoiding God you just aren’t sure how to interpret his signs. I think that you’re letting all these circimstances in your life get to you and make you think that you aren’t good enough and are inable to deal, God wants you to know that you are loved and that you are an image of him. He would never want anything bad for you.
One morning I woke up to a moth in my house. Something that has never happened to me before. Espescially in the winter. The night before, I prayed to God for the answers to my problems that are identical to yours. I used to feel like I had a handle on life and now it kinda seems out of control. Anyways, this moth seemed to be coming at me like it was on a mission. Things out of the ordinary to me I look up online for references in the bible. So I got on google and looked for a correlation between moths and scripture. Odd way of finding interpretation but what I found has astonished me.
look at Matthew 6:19-20….God wants us to be the best and to treat everyone with love and kindness and his teachings may be hard to hear sometimes.
We are all fighting a battle of worldly issues. God says to us to stay strong, to resist temptation.
Matthew 6:19-20
“Rust” represents anything that “eats into” and destroys things more durable than clothing. In this parable, it has a wider application than mere iron oxide. Rusting or oxidation will eventually corrode all metal, including silver and gold; all of our physical treasure will deteriorate in time (Proverbs 23:4-5; James 5:3). Once moths and rust settle on an object, they gradually eat their way from the exterior to the interior. Thus, beyond their ability to destroy physical objects, moths and rust represent the decay of a person’s life.
You have to turn your focus to bettering your spirit and your soul. WE ARE ALL SINNERS. We are all guilty of greed and desires of the heart that are ungodly. WE ALL ARE. So get the idea that no one is better than anyone.
In my opinion, and I say all this only to help, is that you have a weakness somewhere and you know it or all of these things in your life wouldn’t be happening so you’re reaching out because it’s on the tip of your tongue but can’t quite figure it out. It’s time to become a warrior spirit and to make a stand against the evils of the world. In order to do this we must let go of our worldy image of ourselves and accept that we are God’s creation. Which you have all ready done or you wouldn’t be reaching for God. You are a victim or the world, as am I and God wants it to change. He always has and has sent Jesus as our last chance for salvation.
However I see someone who gets God and truly wants to understand him and wants him in their life. You’re a rare one. I think you just need a little reassurance and encouragement and you will do fine. Try finding different friends and people who will support you. Reach down and really find what your heart says is your purpose. Honesty hurts yes, but you are building your character and god is building you to prepare you for something bigger than what we know. You really can’t blame God for anything, becuase he’s tried many things to change the human race. You just have to keep being the smarter one that you are and rise above the hilacious medical policies, corrupt gov’t, and the evils of money.
hope this helps a little or get heart going in the right direction.
Your words are an encouragement to me, thank you!