So I finally did something I have been needing to do for such a long time. But there has been fear. The kind of fear that is DEEP down in the pit of your stomach that makes you freeze and do NOTHING.
Well this week I finally overcame that fear, and you know what it hurt so much. I mean, I felt physical pain for saying goodbye. However I did learn a lot about myself in this. One thing I learned, I was only hanging on because it was the ONE thing I felt like I was good at. It was the one dream that I finally accomplished. I was successful.
I have problems with feeling like a failure. So many dreams I’ve had in the past and I have failed at them. Even the things God is calling me to do I feel like such a failure at it. Being a mom I feel like a failure sometimes, and don’t even get me started on being a wife.
But I know that failure doesn’t mean I’m not qualified. God says I’m qualified so I show up. I do my best. Sometimes I fail, but I get right back up. Through my failures I learn, but most importantly I become STRONGER.
I can see how much stronger I am now. I can feel it. Yes the fear hurt me, but I was STRONG enough to move past it, even though it hurt me. Right now, I feel like a conqueror, but I know I can only feel this way because of God. Because of His strength.
He gave me strength. How? By letting me go through trials. I know that a lot of don’t like to go through trials, myself included. But truly the only way we will become stronger is if we go through, not go around, or over and under. No, we gain strength by going through the trials.
Through my trials I have learned to always trust God no matter what. Through every conflict I become stronger, and I have learned to face my fears in order to be obedient to God.
Yes there are times when I feel like a failure. But TODAY I feel like a conqueror!
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