I Know They’re Talking About Me
I know people are talking about me among the WAHM community, I know that. They are making posts on their blogs, and saying things indirectly - of course - that because of my views they now know the real me and will not do business with me anymore.
As much as my heart goes out to them, because obviously my words offended them, and for that I am sorry, I still see SO MANY more good things happening because of it. It’s hard for me to know if what I did was right. I see fruit. But I also see people in more pain.
I don’t really think the pain comes from my words. I think the real pain is buried deep inside, whether it be from choices or mistakes they have made, or by the sin of other people who have hurt them, the pain is there and it is real. But I do not think the pain is coming from my words directly. They are just making old hurts resurface, and my heart does go out to them. My heart does hurt for them.
You know the other week a little boy said “look mommy that lady has a big tummy.” Did that hurt, of course. But the pain still didn’t take away from the fact that it wasn’t true. I also didn’t blame that little boy for stating a fact, because my belly is big because of my choices. As painful as it may be, it was still the truth and it’s still my fault.
On the flip side I still have the ability to change whatever is hurting me, I am not stuck in this situation. I wish that all people could see that. I really do. But I have to be compassionate toward them. I have to try and understand their hearts, but I do not think I will stop speaking the truth ever again.
I think the moment we stop speaking truth we are just selling ourselves out. Not speaking the truth isn’t what’s best for them, it just enables them to stay right where they are. I wish my parents said NO to a cookie or two when i was growing up. Maybe if my husband wasn’t the sweetest man in the world and maybe if he actually CARED about my weight then maybe I would have changed earlier, but I would have probably changed for the wrong reasons.
Not really sure where this post is going. But my faith will not be something that is hidden. I will not be afraid to share because someone might never do business with me again. God is my provider and I feel so blessed that I have been able to move past that fear of having to please everyone around me in order to move ahead.
I am the daughter of THE King…..I am not a prisoner anymore.