If there is one thing I do know…

If there is one thing I do know, it’s that God is in control.

Today I was hit with some news that just seems like terrible timing, but before I could get all down and out about it, something came over me. All I could think of then was that it wasn’t bad timing…it’s perfect timing, God’s perfect timing!

I know that God is not out to get me. It’s amazing what we remember when we know that God has great plans for our family, I know He does. He has put so many desires and dreams in my heart, and I know they are HIS dreams for my family and I. All I can do right now is think about how all of this is God’s perfect timing. All these changes are moving this family forward to where He wants us to be.

This year is going to be the year miracles happen, and we truly see what God can do for us when we obey Him. I told my husband the other day, there is disobedience in this house and that the conflict we have been going through will not go away until we obey the Lord.

We have been saying we want to live a life for Christ, and yet we both have been stalling on moving forward with that commitment. Not to mention we haven’t been looking to God for everything. On certain things we’ve been hanging onto because we were afraid to let go.

But lately my husband and I have been really just forced into obedience. I hate to say forced, because honestly it’s what I want. I want to obey Him. Maybe God is just helping us align our lives with our hearts, because I know that my heart is wanting to serve Him more and more. I want my life to be about Him.

How do I know it’s God? Because everything that has happened to us within the last 4 months has been completely out of our control, and they haven’t been all bad things! There has been some amazing provision just within the past month that can only be described as a miracle, it was totally God and it was beyond what I had thought God could do. But He did it.

The bad things, for the most part, have been totally out of our control as well. We can’t control what other people do. We can’t prevent my husband from getting a pay cut, we have no control over this. We have no control over the transmission going out. We have no control over these things. We can’t control the weather. We can’t control a virus. I mean we can take every precaution, but unless we are willing to live in a bubble, life is going to happen to us. A lot of things beyond our control has been happening a lot for the past year!

It really makes you wonder what God is up to, but I know it’s Him because it has moved us forward, not only in our walk with Him, but also in our relationships. It has helped to grow this family. God has something big planned, I can feel it. He’s just working to move our lives forward. I just need to keep trusting in Him.

I will admit though, I’m afraid just a bit. I know God can do anything He wants. I’m just afraid. I’m afraid of what He will ask me to do. I’m afraid of what other bad things can happen. I’m afraid I will lose faith in Him, and therefore lose HIM. I’m afraid if I lose Him then I will have to learn how to live without Him again. I don’t want to lose God. I think that is my biggest fear, that something bad will happen and I won’t have the strength to deal with it and I will stop believing in Him, and His plan just won’t be clear to me anymore.

There are some things I just can’t explain or understand. Honestly those are the things I fear the most. I fear them because I feel like the one thing that could get me through, if God forbid something that bad ever did happen, I won’t have anymore.

I guess if there is one thing I do know, God is in control, and even though bad things may happen, He is the only one Who can get me through those difficult moments. I know that God is good all the time. It’s upsetting to know that so many people are suffering, but it’s good to know that the One who created the universe is there to help us through everything life throw our way.

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