…”Who’s there?”
Humility
“Humility who?”
Humility came knocking on my door today, AGAIN! Wow, you’d think I’d have this humility thing down, but no. For some reason I think I can do something to make myself worthy, or capable. For some reason I feel like I need to prove something and show the world I am a good leader, wife, mother…
Humility. Honestly this is a word I thought I never really had problems with. Yeah, it’s hard to admit that to the world on a blog (yikes!) Pride. Oh, no not me. HA! Who am I fooling.
The truth is my heart is saturated with pride, and when I fall off my pedestal that I *think* God has put me on, I fall hard, and that’s when humility comes knocking at my door. You see humility makes you surrender, totally and completely. When you are blinded by pride, like I have been, you don’t see that you are trying to do everything yourself.
Honestly I’m not sure how to block the pride attacks. It gets embedded in me so quickly. I could feel it creeping in when I started that Leadership class and realized that I was nothing a leader should be, so then I decided I’m going to become those “things” and that began my demise…what was I going to become? I was going to become “worthy.”
OH boy, the efforts we make to become WORTHY, as soon as I felt like I had to become worthy that is when my heart started turning away from God again. Oh my pour soul, all I could think about was how I needed to do this, and I needed to do that. None of it was coming from a heart of obedience, it was coming from a heart of pride.
But here I am again today, crying out to God, telling Him I’m not THAT person. I’m not the leader He wants…and here I am again today, humbled by Him, knowing that even though I am not worthy of His calling, He has still called me.
Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. Revelations 3:20
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