So I have been struggling for about two years now with the desire to have another child. This would be mine and my husbands fourth child. Whenever I think about having another baby I DO get a bit overwhelmed and often wonder is this God’s will or mine.
However lately I have prayed a lot asking for God to either take this desire away if it is my will and not His, or to offer up a breakthrough as soon as possible. It’s difficult living with that type of desire. You see my husband had a vasectomy, so IF I did get pregnant it would be a total miracle. It would also be a miracle to talk my husband into getting his vasectomy reversed!
Recently I finally asked for prayer over this and so far my feedback has been a lot of understanding and support. Of course I got the hey “maybe you should adopt” which I am all for adoption but the problem is this desire is for another one of my own. Then I got the “maybe you are just scared to let this phase of your life go” and I have considered this too, and that’s when I asked God to take the desire to have another child away if it was not His will.
Recently I had been so worried that having another baby was selfish on my part, and in some way I am looking to fill a need or a void in my life. But then it occurred to me having a baby is NOT selfish. I mean look at my life NOW, being a mom is filled with a lot of self sacrifice, not to mention it’s hard work.
This desire is from God. I truly believe that. So now I am just waiting, patiently. I am waiting for the desire to be fulfilled. I am waiting for God’s timing.
I worry what will happen if this isn’t the month, or the next month. But you know even if I don’t get pregnant this month, or next month, or the next, God is STILL God. He is still there, and He DOES hear my prayers – I know He hears them, He has given me signs for the past 3 months that my prayers are being heard.
I know my faith may seem a bit out there, but I’m not ashamed. God is God. If this is His will then I will believe every day, week, month, year for it to come to pass. It’s out there, I know. But ALL things are possible with God…
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[...] God’s Will or Mine? [...]
My situation is practically identical to yours except that my husband is fearful of having another child becauase of our age (he-49, me-44) and are middle child has down syndrome. He is alot of work but brings immeasureable joy to us. So in response to your question…Isn’t it always God’s will that we should be fruitful and multiply. I have heard it written that God never took back or voided this commandment. What are your thoughts? How do you feel about miracles?
Hi Myra, I totally agree. I can’t see how having a baby would be AGAINST God’s will, even if it is out of wed lock. Would He want us to commit adultery, no. But the baby is NOT the sin. I believe we are to be fruitful and multiply, for sure. I feel that all babies are miracles, just the thought of what it takes to actually get pregnant. Then even to consider how many people can’t have a baby. I believe completely in miracles, but I also believe God will work where He needs to work. We can learn a lot through our pain and suffering. We can also learn a lot through working out all the emotions or feelings we have surrounding the desire to have another child.
I absolutley, whole-heartedly believe that God gives mothers a desire for more children. It’s what He created us to do. He commanded us to be fruitful. He said children are a gift from Him. He said to eagerly desire gifts from Him. Be at peace.
Love
Brandy
Thank you for the comment and encouragement, Brandy. I agree, more and more His conviction is becoming true. I can see He is moving our family ion the direction He wants us to go, and I believe it will include growing our family.
I came upon your blog on faith. Our situations are somewhat similar. I’ve had a tubal and previous to the surgery, the Dr.explained it was unnecessary because of excessive scar tissue that it would be impossible for me to become pregnant anyway. However, I’m absolutely certain God working through my faith will allow me to have another child in the near future. Chin up.
My husband and I have been discussing here and there about having another child, but we feel sort of “on the fence” whether it’s something we should do. Our youngest is 5. For me, I have been having this desire, which I feel is God telling me that this is his will. It is Satan that is filling my head with all the things that make it seem overwhelming, the starting over with diapers, the gap between the kids, the many other things that we think of to talk ourselves out of it. Personally I feel if it wasn’t God’s will then I wouldn’t be having these recurrent thoughts.
It is good to read about other faithful women of God desiring children.. I am not really in the same situation. I don’t yet have any children. My husband and I have been married for 18 months and I have been feeling for a long time that it is God’s will for us to have a baby. I too have prayed for this desire to be taken away if it is not from Him. It only grows stronger. My husband isn’t convinced though. He hasn’t heard anything from God about this. It’s driving me crazy, because I feel this yearning so strongly it’s almost painful, yet the timing couldn’t be worse. My health is not great, I had to leave a job because of it. We don’t have the money to support a child. I wonder if we are suppposed to step out in faith and wait for God to provide, or if that would be stupid. Sorry to hijack this post, just needed to hear some advice. Thank you
I am praying so hard about this, in our case, my husband wants a third baby, I don’t think we are financially ok to do that, we are struggling with two, and then, my age, I am 41 with high bp, I am afraid, I don’t know what to do…God is just silent about this, or I am deaf.
@ Rachel: considering your current situation I wouldn’t recommend “trying” to have a baby. If God wants you to have a baby, He will make it happen. You have plenty of time for that season of your life. Take advantage of this time to deepen your relationship with your husband and God. Pray for your husband to share your desires. Pray for insight into what your experiencing. If the yearning is painful, I can’t help but think that it’s not coming from God. Don’t let this cause conflict between you and your husband. My advice could be flawed, as I am merely human. Best advice: pray, read God’s word, pray, meditate on God’s word, pray, enjoy your husband, pray, pray with your husband, pray!
Regarding the response to Rachel, where you assert that if the yearning for a child is painful, it is probably not from God: Name your Scriptural basis for such an assertion. We know that the Biblical Rachel said to Jacob, “Give me children, or else I die!” We know that Hannah was in great distress when she prayed for a child; Eli thought she was drunk! You cite only your own thoughts when saying that painful yearning for a child is not of God.
I’m in the same situation. My husband had a vasectomy 14 months ago. It was one of those decisions that I had to submit to his will on but I long for more children. I didn’t (and still don’t) think it was the right decision. I prayed, and he prayed, and he felt that God was telling him to get it done, but I felt like God was saying to trust Him and leave it in His hands. We have 6 wonderful children that bring so much joy to our lives. For the past 14 months I have been earnestly praying for God to take away this desire if it is not from Him, yet the desire remains. So I pray for a miracle. I know God can get past a vasectomy but I’m so uncertain if it’s my will or God’s will for us to have more children. I’m so confused and hurt and I NEVER want to end up resenting my husband for his decision.
And in response to Martha, I desperately prayed to God, in tears, for years, to bless me with a son. One night I opened my Bible, not sure what I was looking for, but it opened on 1 Samuel 1. I read that chapter, and I could relate to Hannah so much! I prayed again for a son, and promised that if God would give me one, I would raise him for the Lord, and give him back when it was time. God spoke to me that night. I knew that I would have a son. I knew that I would name him Samuel, and I know that one day, he will be required of me. Two days later, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I knew that it was a son and at the 20 week scan, we found out it was a boy. I’m very sure that my little man will be a missionary one day, and I constantly pray for God’s wisdom in raising him.
I just stumbled upon this post and read it through blurred tears. Your story is my story, right down to praying for God to either make me pregnant, or remove the desire. I cannot see a vasectomy reversal in our future, so I think this baby would have to be a result of God’s complete divine intervention. It’s so reassuring to know I’m not the only one feeling this way. How are things for you now?