So I have been struggling for about two years now with the desire to have another child. This would be mine and my husbands fourth child. Whenever I think about having another baby I DO get a bit overwhelmed and often wonder is this God’s will or mine.
However lately I have prayed a lot asking for God to either take this desire away if it is my will and not His, or to offer up a breakthrough as soon as possible. It’s difficult living with that type of desire. You see my husband had a vasectomy, so IF I did get pregnant it would be a total miracle. It would also be a miracle to talk my husband into getting his vasectomy reversed!
Recently I finally asked for prayer over this and so far my feedback has been a lot of understanding and support. Of course I got the hey “maybe you should adopt” which I am all for adoption but the problem is this desire is for another one of my own. Then I got the “maybe you are just scared to let this phase of your life go” and I have considered this too, and that’s when I asked God to take the desire to have another child away if it was not His will.
Recently I had been so worried that having another baby was selfish on my part, and in some way I am looking to fill a need or a void in my life. But then it occurred to me having a baby is NOT selfish. I mean look at my life NOW, being a mom is filled with a lot of self sacrifice, not to mention it’s hard work.
This desire is from God. I truly believe that. So now I am just waiting, patiently. I am waiting for the desire to be fulfilled. I am waiting for God’s timing.
I worry what will happen if this isn’t the month, or the next month. But you know even if I don’t get pregnant this month, or next month, or the next, God is STILL God. He is still there, and He DOES hear my prayers – I know He hears them, He has given me signs for the past 3 months that my prayers are being heard.
I know my faith may seem a bit out there, but I’m not ashamed. God is God. If this is His will then I will believe every day, week, month, year for it to come to pass. It’s out there, I know. But ALL things are possible with God…
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[...] God’s Will or Mine? [...]
My situation is practically identical to yours except that my husband is fearful of having another child becauase of our age (he-49, me-44) and are middle child has down syndrome. He is alot of work but brings immeasureable joy to us. So in response to your question…Isn’t it always God’s will that we should be fruitful and multiply. I have heard it written that God never took back or voided this commandment. What are your thoughts? How do you feel about miracles?
Hi Myra, I totally agree. I can’t see how having a baby would be AGAINST God’s will, even if it is out of wed lock. Would He want us to commit adultery, no. But the baby is NOT the sin. I believe we are to be fruitful and multiply, for sure. I feel that all babies are miracles, just the thought of what it takes to actually get pregnant. Then even to consider how many people can’t have a baby. I believe completely in miracles, but I also believe God will work where He needs to work. We can learn a lot through our pain and suffering. We can also learn a lot through working out all the emotions or feelings we have surrounding the desire to have another child.