As I sit here with You planning out the future of the ministry you have placed on my heart, I sit and watch people in my family throw their life down the drain. I do my best to speak to them, but you know how evangelism is not my gift.
But when I look at them I wonder WHO – with the gift of evangelism – will come into their life and show them another way. Even with those that I have been able to talk to about you, still have their own views. They still haven’t really made any changes, that I can see, to move towards you.
They may talk and say they know you, and they believe in you. But their life says something else. I try and remember that I have not arrived, and that where I am in my relationship with You has been 5 years in the making. I just wish they knew You now. I just wish I knew of a way to bring you up in conversations. How to just express you thoughts to them.
I pray that one day they will know you, I mean REALLY KNOW You. Not just know about You, but that they have a deeply gratifying relationship with You. Everyone’s journey is different. How can I know that they are moving towards You? It makes me so sad to see so many of them hurting. They may not think they are hurting, but I can tell that they are simply by what they do with their life.
I feel like a failure because I can’t reach out to them. Part of me doesn’t even want to be around them. And I know that’s not the solution. But I think being around them reminds me of failure I feel because I don’t know what to say to them, or how to treat them. I want to love them, but sometimes that is even a difficult task because I’m so frustrated with watching them not even TRY.
It just feels so overwhleming right now, because it just seems like it is effecting my entire family. What’s even more painful is it’s happening to the family members who I thought were believers. But it seems as if they are just getting further and further away from You.
Lord Jesus I just pray for them. Change them, come into their heart and show them Your love and the life you have planned for them. Give them the motivation to do what is necessary – to TRY – and live a life that is pleasing to You. Give me the words to say, Lord. Show me what to do.
I pray this all in your might name – Amen!
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I have the same situation and the same hope for my extended family. Hang in there and remember that God is able.
We can be faithful to pray, to plant tiny seeds, to do what non Christians wouldn’t do. Acts of kindness with a little scripture verse, calling often and listening. Telling them we are praying for them.
God can take our offering of a few loaves and fish, and expand it 100 fold. Remember that it is He who has put this ministry into your heart. He will finish the work He begins.
You are so right, Pam. Just trying to pray more, and be more like Christ in hopes that one day they will see the truth.